1. Create Space
2. Connect with Self
3. Connect with Others
4. Co-Create a New Strategy
1. Create Space
2. Connect with Self
3. Connect with Others
4. Co-Create a New Strategy
1. Create Space
2. Connect with Self
3. Connect with Others
4. Co-Create a New Strategy
Here’s a more detailed explanation of what happens in each step.
Here’s a more detailed explanation of what happens in each step.
Here’s a more detailed explanation of what happens in each step.
1. Create Space
Without Escalation
- “What’s happening is hard for me.”
-or-
- “That’s hard for me to hear.”
-and-
- “I need some time to figure out why.”
2. Connect With Self
- What strategy am I attached to?
- How do I feel when I imagine not getting my way? Mad? Worried? Sad?
- Why do I feel that way? What’s important to me?
- Have I given myself enough empathy to consider other strategies?
- If not, have someone else give me empathy
- Am I ready to consider other strategies?
- Do I feel confident I won’t let go of what’s important to me?
1. Create Space
Without Escalation
- “What’s happening is hard for me.”
-or-
- “That’s hard for me to hear.”
-and-
- “I need some time to figure out why.”
2. Connect With Self
- What strategy am I attached to?
- How do I feel when I imagine not getting my way? Mad? Worried? Sad?
- Why do I feel that way? What’s important to me?
- Have I given myself enough empathy to consider other strategies?
- If not, have someone else give me empathy
- Am I ready to consider other strategies?
- Do I feel confident I won’t let go of what’s important to me?
1. Create Space
Without Escalation
- “What’s happening is hard for me.”
-or-
- “That’s hard for me to hear.”
-and-
- “I need some time to figure out why.”
2. Connect With Self
- What strategy am I attached to?
- How do I feel when I imagine not getting my way? Mad? Worried? Sad?
- Why do I feel that way? What’s important to me?
- Have I given myself enough empathy to consider other strategies?
- If not, have someone else give me empathy
- Am I ready to consider other strategies?
- Do I feel confident I won’t let go of what’s important to me?
If so, I’m ready to…
If so, I’m ready to…
If so, I’m ready to…
3. Connect With Others
Find out what’s important to them; i.e., what need(s) is the other person trying to meet?
3. Connect With Others
Find out what’s important to them; i.e., what need(s) is the other person trying to meet?
3. Connect With Others
Find out what’s important to them; i.e., what need(s) is the other person trying to meet?
We have transformed the conflict into a dilemma.
We have transformed the conflict into a dilemma.
We have transformed the conflict into a dilemma.
It’s time to…
It’s time to…
It’s time to…
4. Co-Create a New Strategy
That integrates what’s important to me and what’s important to everyone else
4. Co-Create a New Strategy
That integrates what’s important to me and what’s important to everyone else
4. Co-Create a New Strategy
That integrates what’s important to me and what’s important to everyone else
Here’s a list of needs to jumpstart the process:
Here’s a list of needs to jumpstart the process:
Here’s a list of needs to jumpstart the process:
Needs that Usually Feel Most Important To Parents
Needs that Usually Feel Most Important To Parents
Safety
Rest
Food that contributes to health
Peace of Mind
Appreciation
Respect
Contribution
Effectiveness
Safety
Rest
Food that
contributes to health
Peace of Mind
Appreciation
Respect
Contribution
Effectiveness
Needs that Usually Feel Most Important to Children
Needs that Usually Feel Most Important to Children
Choice
Power
Autonomy
Choice
Power
Autonomy
Needs that Usually Feel Most Important to Everyone
Needs that Usually Feel Most Important to Everyone
Being held with care
Being seen
Being understood
Belonging
Acceptance
Self expression
Connection
Mutuality
Being Valued
Learning
Inclusion
Fun
Ease
Being held with care
Being seen
Being understood
Belonging
Acceptance
Self expression
Connection
Mutuality
Being Valued
Learning
Inclusion
Fun
Ease