Conflict
Repair
Café
Welcome, Kehilla Community!
If you’re here from the Kehilla newsletter, you’re in the right place. You’ll find answers to common questions about the Conflict Repair Café below, along with the current schedule for the Kehilla gatherings.
Bring One Family Conflict. Leave With a New Way Forward.
Do the same family conflicts keep coming back — no matter what you try?
Whether the conflict is with your child, parent, partner, sibling, in-law, or adult child, the Conflict Repair Café is a welcoming space where you can bring one real family conflict and discover a new way to navigate it — without giving up on what matters to you or the people you love.
Confidential • Compassionate • Judgment-Free
Upcoming Conflict Repair Cafés
Online and in-person gatherings are offered throughout the year.
Click below for the current dates, times, locations, and Zoom information.
In-Person Conflict Repair Cafés
In-person Cafés will take place in October at Kehilla Community Synagogue in Oakland.
More information will be added soon.
What Makes This Different?
When family conflict keeps repeating, many people look for better firmer boundaries, clearer consequences, or a better compromise.
Unfortunately, these strategies rarely help in the long run.
That’s because when the deeper dynamics of the conflict aren’t clear, they can leave everyone feeling even more frustrated and misunderstood.
At the Conflict Repair Café, we explore what is actually driving the conflict. Once that becomes visible, new possibilities often emerge that weren’t available before.
You don’t have to give up on what matters to you. And neither does anyone else.
What You’ll Experience
At each Café, you’ll have the opportunity to:
- Meet other people navigating real family conflicts.
- Bring a conflict that matters to you.
- Share as much or as little as you choose.
- Receive support—or simply observe.
- Watch live conflict coaching that often applies to many different situations.
- Discover practical next steps you can use in your own family.
Every Café is different, but people often experience moments of laughter, tears, learning, insight, and genuine connection.
My intention is that you’ll leave with a little more lightness, a little more clarity, and a lot more possibility.
Come by Yourself — or Bring the People Involved
You are welcome to attend on your own.
If the person or people you are in conflict with are willing to come, they are welcome too.
See What It Can Look Like When Multiple Family Members Participate
How do I get my son to do chores?
Can a 6 year old help decide how easy it is to access the axe?
See What It Can Look Like When One Person Comes for Support
Why are my kids determined to be miserable on vacation?
How do I get my son to eat more slowly?Is This Café for Me?
The Conflict Repair Café may be a good fit if:
- You keep having the same argument.
- You’re exhausted by power struggles.
- You’ve tried many things and still feel stuck.
- You’re worried that a family relationship is getting worse.
- You want help without being blamed or judged.
- Your conflict feels too small to bring to therapy—but too important to ignore.
- Your conflict feels so big that you don’t know where to begin.
- You’d rather observe than speak in a group.
- You’re the only person in your family willing to come.
Come as you are. No conflict is too small, too big, or too messy.
How the Café Works
1. We begin with introductions
You’ll be invited to briefly share the conflict you’d like support with. You decide how much personal information to include.
2. I Work With as Many People as Time Allows
Some people receive direct support, while others learn by watching and reflecting on their own situations.
3. We Connect the Learning to Everyone’s Conflicts
Throughout the Café, I’ll draw out principles and insights that apply across many different family situations.
The goal is for everyone to leave with greater understanding and practical next steps — even if we don’t work directly with their conflict.
What People Often Discover
People frequently arrive believing there is only one solution that could possibly work.
They may believe another person has to change, agree, cooperate, or understand before anything can improve.
As we explore the conflict, they often begin to see possibilities they hadn’t considered — and options they didn’t know they had.
Sometimes one new question, insight, or perspective is enough to begin shifting a pattern that has felt stuck for years.
What People Are Saying
“My second session was even more beneficial than my first and my first was amazing in itself! This work is Lisa’s art, and it’s amazing to watch her create these masterpieces for resolution through her work with us all, together.”
Jaime Rosier
Cade Guimaraes
Minnesota
“Lisa is a wizard at conflict resolution. Both with relationships with friends/family but also with internal conflicts. I am blown away every time we work together.”
What Does It Cost?
Your first Conflict Repair Café is free.
If you return, I invite you to contribute an amount that supports both your financial sustainability and mine.
Most people give between $15 and $40.
Please choose an amount that feels meaningful without causing financial strain, stress, or resentment. If the lowest suggested amount is too much, give what works for you.
If that amount is $0, you are still welcome.
Ways to Contribute
- Venmo: @Lisa-Rothman-10
- Zelle: rothman.lisa@gmail.com
- PayPal: paypal.me/LisaRothman
- Wise: wise.com/pay/me/lisar878 (If you live outside the United States, this may be the least expensive way to pay.)
Upcoming Conflict Repair Cafés
Online and in-person gatherings are offered throughout the year.
Click below for the current dates, times, locations, and Zoom information.
Bring a Conflict Repair Café to Your Community
Would you like to host a Café for your friends, family, congregation, school, organization, or community?
I offer both online and in-person gatherings.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Do I have to share my conflict?
No. Sharing is always optional.
You are welcome to observe, listen, and reflect on how the work applies to your own family. - What if I don’t want to share personal details about my family?
You choose what to share and what to keep private.
Even a small amount of information is often enough to open up new possibilities. You are also welcome to change names or leave out identifying details. - Is the Café confidential?
Yes. Participants are asked to treat what others share as confidential.
The Café is intended to be a compassionate, respectful, and judgment-free space. - What kinds of conflicts can I bring?
Anything involving family relationships, including conflicts with:- Young children
- Teenagers
- Adult children
- Parents
- Partners
- Siblings
- In-laws
- Extended family members
- What if people judge me?
Every person has family conflict. It is part of being human.
The focus at the Café is on empathy, curiosity, and understanding — not judgment, blame, or evaluation. - What if my conflict is too small?
If it matters to you, it is worth exploring.
Everyday struggles can reveal important patterns and create meaningful opportunities for change. - What if my conflict is too big?
You do not need to know where to begin.
We can start with one small part of the situation and explore what becomes possible from there. - I’ve tried everything already. How will this be different?
You don’t need to come believing it will work.
Think of it as an experiment. Sometimes one new question or perspective is enough to interrupt a pattern that has felt impossible to change. - Can the person I’m in conflict with attend?
Yes. They are welcome if they are willing to participate.
You may also come on your own. Meaningful shifts can begin even when only one person in a family is present. - What if I don’t have the time or energy?
The Café is designed to leave you with more clarity — not a long list of assignments.
One gathering may save you many hours of repeating the same argument or trying strategies that aren’t addressing what is actually happening. - Is this therapy?
The Conflict Repair Café is an educational and coaching experience. It is not psychotherapy, crisis care, or a substitute for mental health treatment. - What if I would prefer private support?
I also offer individual and family sessions.
About Lisa
Lisa Rothman is a conflict prevention and repair specialist who helps parents and families transform recurring conflicts into opportunities for understanding, collaboration, and lasting change.
For more than twenty years, she has supported people around the world in navigating difficult conversations, repairing relationships, and finding new ways forward.
Her approach is warm, practical, and deeply respectful of everyone involved.
Bring One Conflict. Discover New Possibilities.
You don’t have to solve it alone.
Come share, listen, learn, or simply see what becomes possible when a conflict is explored with empathy and curiosity.
Upcoming Conflict Repair Cafés
Online and in-person gatherings are offered throughout the year.
Click below for the current dates, times, locations, and Zoom information.